I'm in love, and I can't tell anyone just yet the details of this love. But me and this person are together and this I must confess: I feel like I've come home.
I keep thanking him in silly gushy moments for suddenly showing up and making me feel so at home. I don't even feel like...it's like my favorite Emerson quote.
"Then, when all is done, a person of related mind, a brother or sister by nature, comes to us so softly and easily, so nearly and intimately, as if it were the blood in our proper veins, that we feel as if some one was gone, instead of another having come; we are utterly relieved and refreshed: it is a sort of joyful solitude. ...we learn that only that soul can be my friend, which I encounter on the line of my own march, that soul to which I do not decline, and which does not decline to me, but, native of the same celestial latitude, repeats in its own all my experience."It is definitely a sort of joyful solitude. I don't feel compelled to act like someone I'm not for fear of turning him off and as soon as I realized that, I had no idea that I had fooled myself for so long and really did try to fit myself into packages that just...were obviously uncomfortable and not quite rightly me. I can be my 100% weird self, with all of my emotionally bottomless and overflowing moments when I'm inspired by everything I see and start telling him about how beautiful the wind in my hair feels or how beautiful trees look in street lamp light. Lol even I think I'm super dorky for that shit but I do it anyways, and he just keeps digging it all. No strange looks or confused faces when I reference Jim Jones koolaid or Spinal Tap. But I'm mostly just happy for that feeling of safety. That it's ok to take my armor off with him, and know I won't be made to feel like a fool for thinking I was in a good place.
There's just one catch: he lives a 6 hour flight away from me.
I was so happy until that last sentence. Good job on finding such a great person, and good luck with all of that. Ah, love. ^_^
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